Family Members and a Firearm in the Home
You’ve passed the background check, you purchased your firearm and you notice that those in your family are a little bit hesitant about this weapon you’ve brought into their home for self-defense. Maybe your significant other is fearful of this firearm you’ve decided to carry with you all the time and you’ve noticed that you’re getting frequent stares from them.
You’re not the only one whose gone through this. Being a new concealed carrier, a first time responsible firearm owner and those in the home that may have ever been exposed to firearms before may be a challenge. When I first started, I started the routine of carrying right away as soon as I was ready for the day. I clipped my holster onto my pants, put my gear on (every day carry), got dressed and inserted my firearm into my holster. Meanwhile, I noticed that I was getting stares from across the bed. The love of my life was never exposed to firearms before in her entire life; this new routine of mine and my reasons for carrying was foreign to her.
But remember, you may get stares from others who are curious about your new lifestyle. You may even get a few unwarranted comments or lectures over the new few months (depending on your significant other and family members) and opinions about carrying a handgun, especially if you carry around the home visible to others.
You may even notice that when there is a deadly shooting reported in the news media, the energy in the room changes and you feel the stares from other family members or friends in the room. You may even be defending yourself about carrying a firearm. People who know that you carry a firearm may just want to start a heated conversation about why you shouldn’t carry. They’ve heard half-truths or misinformation presented online, in the news, or passed along by others and they truly believe that’s it is their right to educate you on the subject matter they know nothing about. It’s amazing how people just believe everything they hear or read in the news and not investigate it themselves. Remember folks, it’s a business that lives or dies by its rating. With bad ratings, no advertisement = no money. There are very few news outlets that really get it right.
Yes, some people just want to challenge you since they believe their opinions are right and they want to change your thinking. When I meet people like this, I know where I stand, but I like to hear other people’s thoughts on the subject matter, looking for something that may hold merit or something I have never heard of. Or I see a pattern of incorrect information presented by those who talk to me and makes me wonder where they’re getting their data.
I like to consider myself an open-minded person. I don’t get involved in these conversations since some are a bit ridiculous and these people have no experience in this area. So I just listen to the so called “subject matter expert” and leave it alone. I don’t want the situation to escalate where it becomes a shouting match, so I’ll pretend to agree with their viewpoint, politely interrupt the conversation and walk away (like I have to go to the restroom or something) and move on. Remember, you don’t want to get involved in these situations. Deescalate and move on. They are just words after all.
I just want to say that in most cases, those around you will get used to you carrying a firearm and they may never give it a serious thought after a while. It’s like that ugly knickknack purchase that sits in your home and after a while, it just blends into the environment, forgotten but still there. This may take some time for this to happen. It could be months or a year, but after a while it becomes part of their routine and their environment, just like that knickknack.
So hang in there, stick to your guns and ride it out. Some may adapt to your new lifestyle quicker than others and staying out of heated conversations is the best course of action for everyone’s sake. Don’t let it get you down or change your mind. You are there to defend your loved ones and yourself since they have not or cannot take on that responsibility. They may not be realistic that we live in a world of violent crime. They’ve lived this long without any violence in their life except for what they see on the television. But it’s real and it’s everywhere. Where do you think these shows get their ideas from? Real life violence.
Try taking them to a gun range and show them how to use your firearm. I did this, and I provided training and taught them the four universal safety rules. I explained each rule and the reasons on what could happen if the rule was not followed (there are examples in the book “Way of the Concealed Carrier“). If you have someone that has no interest, DO NOT force them into it. Let it go and move on. Just take those who want to learn. If you force someone, it will backfire.
You may think to yourself “I wish that a situation would happen and defending them will prove that carrying is effective and it will change their minds”. Please don’t think this way. I do not wish it upon anyone having to defend for their lives. You or a family member can get hurt or killed. I know people who have carried for two decades and have never had to present their firearm to defend themselves. This is a horrible experience to go through if you have to shoot someone. So don’t provoke anyone to show those around you the reason to carry a firearm. It’s stupid, dangerous and irresponsible.
Until that day comes where there is peace on earth, carry every day to protect yourself and your loved ones.
Be safe out there, be the responsible firearm owner and always follow the “Concealed Carry Creed“!!!